1. Ummm, I don't.
2. Because I am the only me there is.
Funny how those seemingly contradictory answers are both true. I don't have to become anyone special because I'm already the only Julia in all of space or time made to be me. I don't have to prove anything, bedazzle anyone, create impressions, have people think X or Y or Z about me. I just have to fully inhabit the life I have been given, filling it with integrity and openness and love.
Which is a lot to ask, really.
If all I had to do was write a bestselling book, I could be successful (or not) at that task. But to be a full person is a goal of a different order of magnitude.
* * * *
Many years ago I went to a church service that was done with solemnity and honor, and in its quiet dignity was soul-stirring. Afterwards I said something to the pastor about how it was a shame more people didn't show up. He replied, gently, "If we're doing something for God, the size of the congregation only matters to Him."
* * * *
My friend Susy, a mom of five, said, "I think most moms have a kid age-range that they do really well. For me, it's preschoolers. I understand them and enjoy them and do well with them. Teenagers, not so much. I do my best, but I don't excel the way I do with little ones."
Some things in life -- and some stages of parenting -- come easily to us. Others don't. It's okay either way.
Growth is not always comfortable. It doesn't always feel like growth.