Sunday, August 7, 2011


I've been feeling mediocre lately. It's annoying. I ask myself, Why do you need to feel you're something special? And I have two answers.

1. Ummm, I don't.
2. Because I am the only me there is.

Funny how those seemingly contradictory answers are both true. I don't have to become anyone special because I'm already the only Julia in all of space or time made to be me. I don't have to prove anything, bedazzle anyone, create impressions, have people think X or Y or Z about me. I just have to fully inhabit the life I have been given, filling it with integrity and openness and love.

Which is a lot to ask, really.

If all I had to do was write a bestselling book, I could be successful (or not) at that task. But to be a full person is a goal of a different order of magnitude.

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Many years ago I went to a church service that was done with solemnity and honor, and in its quiet dignity was soul-stirring. Afterwards I said something to the pastor about how it was a shame more people didn't show up. He replied, gently, "If we're doing something for God, the size of the congregation only matters to Him."

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My friend Susy, a mom of five, said, "I think most moms have a kid age-range that they do really well. For me, it's preschoolers. I understand them and enjoy them and do well with them. Teenagers, not so much. I do my best, but I don't excel the way I do with little ones."

Some things in life -- and some stages of parenting -- come easily to us. Others don't. It's okay either way.

Sometimes the point isn't to be excellent, but to grow.

Growth is not always comfortable. It doesn't always feel like growth.



  1. Ever since I discovered you in Daily Guideposts this year, I have come to your site here daily. I am always glad to see a new post. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts here. I feel you are a true follower of Christ and you are an inspiration to me. I hope your Big Guy is doing better. I am in awe of the way you meet the challenges you face. Please keep sharing.

  2. Thank you Meg. There's nothing to be in awe about, though!

  3. Julia, I appreciate all your work in doing this blog also. You always
    give me something to think about and to try to apply in my own life.

    How is Big Guy doing by now?

    Big hugs, Shirley

  4. Your insights and observations are unique to you, Julia, yet they often resonate with us, your readers. I'm now growing into the role of "parent of young adult children" and often feel those same pangs of inadequacy as when they were newborns! This drives me to pray more fervently, more often, and more specifically than I've been used to in a while. Which is the silver lining, yes? Yes!!

    ~ Dar in NY

  5. I just read this on someone's Facebook and it jumped out at me!

    I want you to trust Me enough to realize your privileged position in My kingdom. -Jesus Calling

    You are abundantly special to many people and your story resonates with so many.