15 things I know about parenting a difficult child

1. You can't always make it better, but you can always make it worse.
2. Progress is measured relative to where you were, not relative to where others are.
3. What people think only matters if it helps you become a better parent.
4. Reinforcing the positive works way better than punishing the negative.
5. When you're overwhelmed, clean the bathroom. 
6. Beating yourself up over your failures is the same as letting someone else beat you up. 
7. When your child pushes your buttons, you need to take a good look at your buttons.
8. A daily snuggle helps, if you keep your mouth shut.
9. Consistently working on one behavior is better than trying to make progress on several fronts at once.  
10. Despair over what might happen in the future detracts from the need to parent in the present.
11. Yes, you are working harder than other mothers.
12. It's okay to say that awful thought, but not where your child will hear it.
13. You must, must, must put on your own oxygen mask first.
14. It's worse to be the disliked, flawed, not-understood, yelled-at child than to be the frustrated adult.
15. We are stronger than we think.