Saturday, January 7, 2012

Love in life

Eldest heads back to college on Monday, and I have to say I'm sad. I so love having her here. The kids enjoy goofing around and being a whole family. There was one point last week when all five kids were crammed into the love seat together, chattering and laughing, happy to be a clan. I wish I'd taken a picture. The scene stays fixed in my mind, and I would like to give the kids a visual memory of that day so that they remember it, too.

The poignancy of that mental snapshot is that I've spent many hours this week on that same love seat talking to distraught, angry children who are struggling with their feelings about Big Guy. Big Guy's fun when he's fun, but he explodes; he's scary; he's unpredictable. It's hard to avoid the sense that he ruins everything. And lest I fall into the trap of that line of thinking, I remind myself that those difficult, empathetic conversations on the love seat with my battle-scarred children make up (perhaps) some of my best parenting moments.

Funny that it's called a love seat, no? For love is made up of many things besides happiness: empathy, companionship, patience, endurance, understanding, reconciliation, forbearance, and just staggering through.


  1. thanks for that reminder. we had a incident this morning where yeah it's hard not to think 'they ruin everything' and yet we move on and through. Love seats are tricky places to balance.

  2. Dear Julia,
    I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers during this time of economical stress. I know the Lord will care for His own--you!
    Warm regards,

  3. The conversations you have with your other children are so important! Having you acknowledge to them that their lives are difficult because of these issues that are beyond everyone's constrol will help so much. I know this because I am 'the normal' one in my family of origin.

  4. I just wanted to say, I love hearing about your lives in Guideposts I felt so sheltered as my children were in their mid years - 2-15. I always wondered why only my kids were difficult. I love hearing how you spend time with each one. I respect how you are raising them, God centered. Thanks for your words