Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Catching my breath

I've been having trouble breathing the past two nights. Albuterol helps, though it wears off at 3:30am, and I awaken, gasping, from dreams of boa constrictors or being trapped under wreckage. I get up, cough fitfully for a while, find the inhaler, fix myself a hot water bottle to lie on, and eventually drowse off until  the alarm rings at 5:30.

I'm not sure if lack of sleep is swiss-cheesing my brain, or if it's that I've hit the wall on how much I can handle at once. There are school searches for three kids, doctor searches for Big Guy, falling-in ceilings that lead to breathing trouble, stressed out children, an unemployed husband, bills, homeschooling and overlapping deadlines when I'm sick. And a few other things I don't write about here.

I've learned to be resilient, but I'm actually not invincible. Every now and again I find myself in a situation where I need to put on my own oxygen mask first. Got there today, for sure. Had to breathe deep (as deep as my sticky lungs would let me) and pray to be filled with peace.

There are times like that. Times when the very best thing you can do for the world is to breathe deeply and slowly and be very, very still for five whole minutes.

You can bring a lot of oxygen into your life in five focused minutes. Try it.


  1. Big hug, friend. Want to find a night and have dinner together?

  2. Have you tried sleeping with your upper body propped up on pillows, towels, extra blankets? I find that helps keep those night-time attacks from getting as suffocating.

    Hope it gets better soon.

  3. Thank you for your transpariency. What you have on your plate surely makes my life seem so uncomplicated I feel guily that I deal with it so poorly. May blessings rain down upon you and yours.

  4. Julia,

    I am sorry you have so much stress going on in your life at this time. I have been reading both yours and Andrew's stories in Daily Guideposts for many years & admire you so much. You are such a good role model & my heart aches for your struggles with Big Guy.Have you ever tried a heating pad instead of the hot water might be more comfortable. Blessings to you.

  5. Saying a prayer for you and your family.

  6. I see that indeed Jesus has done what you asked . . . in your prayer for today's entry for Daily Guideposts! That's a lot of stress, but He is a big God. Praying for you and your family.

  7. Thinking of you and like Anonymous above, I read your DG entry for November 5. And you are in my thoughts and prayers today. One of the most helpful things I heard: We do get more than we can handle because it brings us to our knees so we find Him. I like that much better than God doesn't give you more than you can handle. ". God bless you today and may you feel his peace and comfort with every breath.