Monday, March 7, 2011
Where the Wild Things were
There was once a little boy who loved 'talking time' with his sisters just before bed. Who could always find something interesting to do. Who had questions about the world, and who loved God, and who hated to be separated from his mom for any reason.Who loved read-alouds, and whose favorite book was Where the Wild Things Are.
At age five this little boy began a downward spiral into severe anxiety and depression. And when he was hospitalized at age seven, after trying to throw himself through a plate-glass store window, we brought his Wild Thing to the ward where we were permitted to see him only one hour a day. The older kids made fun of him because he still slept with a toy. A nurse took it away as punishment for some minor infraction. (When we found out we were angry and made her give it back.) He loved Wild Thing, anyway.
Last night as Andrew and I talked about Big Guy's difficult visit this weekend, Andrew looked over and saw Wild Thing in our room. I don't know why it was there. "I look at that and I can barely remember the little boy who held it," he said.There was a silence.
I picked up Wild Thing and looked at him. Inside me there roared a terrible roar. My heart sailed back over years and in and out of weeks and through the days, trying to remember the good things I need to hold close. Those memories are what allow supper to still be waiting for my boy, should he return.
And I held Wild Thing to my chest. I wept with him in my arms, because Big Guy was not here to hold.
Please pray for us.
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Oh Julia, I'm so sorry. Sending a big hug.ReplyDelete
Weeping with you.ReplyDelete
Praying for you.ReplyDelete
My heartfelt prayers are with you.ReplyDelete
You have my tears and my prayers.ReplyDelete
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'll pray for you.ReplyDelete
Oh, Julia, I am weeping, too. There are just no words. Please know you are not alone. Thank you for your incredible honesty and vulerability.ReplyDelete
Waiting supper, also yes.
Tears in my eyes--thank you for sharing. Praying for all of you.ReplyDelete
Sad and praying. Holding ALL of you in my thoughts.ReplyDelete
Much love- R.
Hurting for you all. Praying for you all.ReplyDelete
My heartfelt prayers for you and your family!ReplyDelete
My heart's breaking a little. Praying for all of you. Know that you've been heard.ReplyDelete
Weepingn with you and praying for you. Parenting is so hard when we see our children hurting.ReplyDelete
Your family is constantly in my thoughts and prayers.ReplyDelete
I don't pray, per se, but I'll send all my warm thoughts your way. For sure. May you all be as well as possible.ReplyDelete
Oh Julia, I have been reading Daily Guideposts for years and the exploits of your family. My heart aches for all of you & you are in my prayers.ReplyDelete